TRUMPLANDIA


One day, school children will be tasked with learning this just like they are the preamble to the Constitution and the Gettysburg Address.  Below, find the definitive annotated version soon to be enshrined in the Library of Congress:  (Annotation by a bigly, hugely scholar, or "schooler" as this fine thinker likes to say, because it means someone who went to a lot of school.  He just noticed that.  He notices the most things.)

I did try and fuck her. She was married. ("fucking," a slang word for "banging." I have the most words and can go back and forth. Only people with the highest IQ's can do this.)

I moved on her like a bitch. (Also a word for female dog. Nobody knows this. I've asked around and it's amazing the things... Isn't it amazing?)

But I couldn’t get there. (the opposite of "here," which means on the other side of the conference table holding a chair upside down.)

And she was married. (It means when there's a contract between a man and one of those people that sometimes has blood coming out of her wherever. Disgusting. Anyway, it can cost you big money unless your lawyers muscle them into signing a non-disclosure agreement. It still costs you money but they have to shut the fuck up about it.)

You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful. ("attracted" means you want to nail them so you can brag to everyone you meet and to Howard Stern on the radio.)

I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss.
I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it.
You can do anything … (See, when you're as and litigious as I am, they'll never say a thing because you can sue them back to the stone age. Can you imagine a 50 thousand dollar a year local TV newsreader coming back at me? It's hilarious! They'd be on the street within a year!)

Grab them by the pussy. (another, more high-class word for pussy; and I know this because I have the best words, is "snatch.")

You can do anything. ("anything" is the opposite of "nothing," which is what all you dumb motherfuckers are going to be left with in 20 years, or to use another of my many, many, words, towards the end my fourth term in office, which they tell me is against the rules but I've already got people working on it. I've got the best, most loyal people (on retainer).)